It’s much easier to feel like you’re desperately sad and the reason you’re sad is that you’re not with him - and the solution to that is to be with him. As soon as a feeling is over, it’s difficult to remind your heart that you felt that way. Maybe you’re thinking, “But I won’t do that! I’ll remember exactly how I’m feeling now, the agony of not being able to enjoy my time with him!” This is possibly true, but I’m sorry to report that hearts have a short-term memory. More because I think if you do end things now, while he is in the same city as you, you’ll be sad about the end of things and then you’ll think to yourself, “Why am I sad when he’s right here in town and there’s no reason for us to not be together? What was I thinking?” And either you’ll blame yourself or you’ll get back together with him, which is likely to be a little messy. Or even because I’m some mega-romantic who thinks being with someone is always better than not. My inclination is to suggest that you keep seeing this guy, not because I think that is so obviously the path to happiness. And more to the point, no one knows which of these options will provide you with the most happiness and the least strife. You might end things the night before and keep talking and then the two of you realize long-distance is inevitable because you like (love) each other so much.
![with every moment im away with every moment im away](https://the5parkers.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/90942-mop5.jpg)
Maybe he moves and you end things the night before and never speak to him again. You could end things in two weeks, realize that sucks a lot, and then keep going until he moves. You don’t just have the choice to cut it off now at the knees or wait until the last day he’s here.
WITH EVERY MOMENT IM AWAY FULL
There’s a full spectrum of choice, which is what you’re facing here. In fact, there usually aren’t just two options. It’s never like, “do you want to fall and slip into a pile of horsesh*t every 16 days or get $4,000?” No! The options we’re deciding between are usually both good, both bad, or each a bit of both. On top of that, as my mother very memorably taught me, our choices are so rarely between one obviously good and one obviously bad option. So much of adulthood is trying to figure out what would make your future good - or at least better - without very much info. (Do schools really take ski trips? I don’t know!) You can’t try things both ways and then figure out which one led to the best possible outcome. You can’t run a control test and then say, dang, that sucked, let’s try it again where I don’t kiss Travis during my senior ski trip, which leads to us dating for four miserable years throughout all of undergrad. The problem with life, the big grand tragedy of it all, is that you get to do it only once. You’re not going to be crying in bed thinking, “Oh thank God I’m only at 74% capacity for heartbreak!” Whatever space this relationship occupies in your life and in your heart (even if you aren’t saying “I love you”), you are going to have to mourn when it ends, however it ends.Ĭool, Sophia, got it! Thanks for that bummer! But is there any way to make it hurt less? Or to make a better decision in the here and now? Not to cop out of my job of giving advice, but uh, not really. It’s not like you’re going to be happy when it ends because it could have hurt worse. In a way, there is no such thing as “bigger heartbreak” or really its counterpart a “smaller” heartbreak because the sadness you’ll feel is the sadness you’ll feel. I feel the pressure of our limited time together, and want to make the most of every moment, which means I’m stressed and sad a lot more of the time than I’d like! Is it worth it to stay together until he leaves, or am I just setting myself up for a bigger heartbreak? How can I let go of what I know is coming and just enjoy the moment?Ī: I am of the mindset that any and all efforts to mitigate heartbreak are doomed to fail. We’ve so far decided to stick it out until our “expiration date,” because we’ve been having such a good time, but recently the inevitable end has started to eat away at me.
![with every moment im away with every moment im away](http://www.quotemaster.org/images/b8/b88317e7f294dca52058deb79fea14cd.jpg)
I know it’s not for me! And I’m happy in my city, at a job I love. Neither of us has any interest in long-distance - we’ve both tried that before and been burned.
![with every moment im away with every moment im away](http://files.smashingmagazine.com/wallpapers/june-15/the-amazing-water-park/cal/june-15-the-amazing-water-park-cal-1920x1200.jpg)
![with every moment im away with every moment im away](https://pics.onsizzle.com/i-hope-that-someday-you-find-someone-that-gives-you-28438207.png)
The only problem? In three months, he’s moving across the country for a new job. We have a ton in common, have a lot of fun together, and recently, we’ve gotten comfortable being much more vulnerable with each other. Q: I’ve been dating a really great guy for over six months now.